itunes is not recognizing my iphone

I downloaded from iTunes 10 and now I can not add or delete existing songs on my iPhone. Help.?
Stupid apple. I have no idea what to do things for the user-hostile … but what is the trick. It's almost like my iPhone does not recognize my iTunes. Is there a way to force the two to play nice?
check the box on the iPhone summary screen that says "Manually manage music and videos"
Internet Girl (now on iTunes)
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